Elephants Never Forget

Being that Danny and I work for the same company we usually get to enjoy our commute together. When I moved into a new building earlier this year, those rides went from frequent to occasional. This morning, we got to share a ride in listening to the radio, sipping our coffee, laughing and chatting. Good times.
The deejay on the radio posed a question to the listening audience that I was easily able to answer: "What is the meanest thing someone has ever said to you?"

Right off the bat I remembered my Sophomore year of high school, math class. My teacher, obviously fed up with my endless chatter, pointed to me in a classroom full of my peers and shouted:

"Amber - you are rude, crude, and socially unacceptable"

I sat there with my mouth agape. He muttered some additional insults but I've blocked the rest of that out. When the deejay asked the question to the callers, I looked at Danny and told him mine. Expecting him to instantly reply with his, he said instead "You've told me that before". Hm. Guess I wear my hurts on my shoulder.

Attempting to have an intimate, bonding moment with Danny, I asked for his most hurtful moment. I instead was stonewalled. After a few minutes of begging, my sweet husband proceeded to tell me that he doesn't remember "those things". When people say hurtful things to him, he lets them roll. The whole "rubber / glue" scenario -- in real life. However, being the damaged person that I am - I refused to believe that. I poked, prodded, dug - only to come up empty. Which, of course, frustrated me. It's not that he'd never been hurt in his life, he just didn't dwell on them or allow those moments to flood his mind.

I began thinking - what an amazing trait that is. To be able to completely ignore the hurtful sting that accompanies bitter people. To be able to forgive and forget... not taking it into your heart and allowing it to shape who you think you are. Literally!

My post this morning was going to list the many things I am thankful for today. Because, if I'm being quite honest, I'm not feeling upbeat so I was going to do a little reverse psychology on myself. I think instead that I need to focus on what my husband has mastered. I wish I was able to forget what I forgave. I wish I was able to remove scars from my childhood... things that my friends and family have said over the years. Truth be told, I do remember them. Honestly, I hold onto them and I don't know how to let them roll off of me. How do you not take little digs to heart?

I know God put Danny and I together for lots of reasons... and maybe this is another. Maybe he can teach me how to let things roll off and I can truly forgive and forget.

Unitl then...