Celebrating Imperfections

This week (okay, most weeks) I've been struggling with my appearance. I have obsessed (yet again) over my weight, the dents in my things, my hanging belly.... etc, etc, etc. Over the weekend, a close friend of mine was going through the same. We share a common hatred of our bodies and often swap "I hate my" stories.
This weekend was different for her. This weekend, the Lord told her to "stoppit". He revealed to her that her body is the way He created it and the way He wants it to be. She shared a bit of their private convo with me and this is what stuck out the most:

He took even more care in creating us than He did in the other things He created. Why is it so easy for us to look at the rest of His creation and call it beautiful when we cannot do the same for ourselves? We were created in His image. We are good, and perfect just the way we are. The weight we carry is just a reflection of abusing ourselves.... but that does not mean we are supposed to all be a size 6 or 8 or 10 or 14...we are all created to be different. Unique.

Girl, I felt like shouting yesterday...since then I have started looking at each part of my body...flaws and all...with wonder...and realizing that everything is beautiful...even the roundness of my hips and stomach...the sturdiness and stubbiness of my legs....it's beautiful because they are God's gift to me...when I focus on that, on what I am, instead of what I am not...my perspective changes and I feel.....well...beautiful.....

To know that my friend looks in the mirror and sees beauty in herself makes my heart smile. Mostly because I see that beauty in her already. What got me the most was the "unique" part. I had never looked at the way my legs move under my pants and thought "That's unique". I believe the word I used was "disgusting" but - that's another topic that I've covered more than once on this blog.

This morning I was supervising the morning routine of our four kids: brushing teeth, deodorant (for the big 3), hair, tidy rooms. As I walked back in my bedroom I could hear Caitlin and Michiah bickering. I'd already busted up three such arguments this morning so I was beginning to get irritated. I heard Michiah exclaim: "She HATES me!!" This is not a word commonly expressed in our home and certainly not one that I tolerate. Just sure that they were discussing one another, I walked in their room asking why the "hate bomb" was dropped. Michiah proceeds to tell me that a little girl named Michelle (names changed to protect the innocent) at summer camp hated her. As any mother, I couldn't imagine that anyone could hate my sweet baby angel. Just as I asked "why" - fully prepared to soothe her sensitive, innocent, damaged heart - my wonderful daughter confesses :

"Because I told her she looks like a boy...and I make fun of her. Well - She DOES!"...

Wow.. what?! She just flipped from the victim to the perpetrator!

I quickly swapped from comforting words to motherly words I thought of my friends advise from yesterday. I said:

"Michiah... First of all, that is wrong. We don't make fun of people. This girl looks the way she does because God made her that way. He made her unique. So - if you're insulting her, you are insulting her Creator. You need to apologize to this girl and be friends with her. God wants her to look like that, and who are you to question Him."

Her face dropped and she looked at me with regret. She's not typically one to poke fun at people. I usually hear her defending others so I'm not sure where this one came from. I was, however, thankful that the wise words of my friend came to mind just at the moment I needed them.

When we got to school, Michiah did just that. She apologized to Michelle and I hope they DO become friends. I think everyone remembers a time in their life that they were teased. It's even worse when you 100% cannot help or change what they're teasing. I know I've been on the receiving side of that but for a long time, I was the giver of those insults. I don't want my kids making those same mistakes. I hope to teach them that our uniqueness is to be celebrated and not used to tear one another down.

And, I'm thankful that I'm feeling and seeing those changes inside myself. Thank you sweet friend. You know who you are.

Until then...